1/25/2006

Why did the chicken cross the road???

A very age old question , much like a parallel to the Hindi question, Murgi pehle aayee ya Anda..but that is not why I am writing this. I found this cool thing on the net about the many replies, or rather reactions of famous people on this very question. Interesting reading, I must say.


CBS-TV's Andy Rooney
I could have said "Didja ever wonder why it is that the chicken crossed the road, and which road it was?" But I didn't. I did ask some turkeys, however, and this is what they said...


President William Jefferson Clinton
That depends on how yuh define "road".


COBOL Programmers
0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING.
IF NO-MORE-VEHICLES THEN
PERFORM 0010-CROSS-THE-ROAD
VARYING STEPS FROM 1 BY 1 UNTIL
ON-THE-OTHER-SIDE
ELSE
GO TO 0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING


Hillary Rodham Clinton
I don't bake cookies; I don't cook chicken. I am not a crook -- er, I am not a cook.

A Typical Politically Correct Person
Don't blame the chicken! Society is to blame. The chicken did cross the road, but he or she was merely a victim of this racist, bigoted, sexist society. We are all to blame, for failing to provide... [blah, blah, blah -- ad nauseam]

The Channel 7 (WSVN, Miami) News Team
In a story you will see only on WSVN, a young homeless chicken crosses the road in Citron Beach for the very first time... The orphaned chicken is hit by a speeding car and is thrown sky high... Authorities are still trying to pick up the pieces. At the family's request, the chicken's remains will be used to make chicken soup for the orphaned chicks... This just in... Is OJ's golf game getting worse, now that he's in the custody battle of his life?

George Bush
Read my chicken lips. To face a kinder, gentler thousand points of headlights

Robert Frost
To cross the road less traveled by.

Sigmund Freud
The chicken obviously was female and obviously interpreted the pole on which the cross walk sign was mounted as a phallic symbol of which she was envious, selbstverstaendlich.

Bill Gates
We own the road. We own the chicken. It's none of your damn business.

Omar Khayam
The moving chicken fingers write, and having writ, move on.


Moses
Know ye that it is unclean to eat the chicken that has crossed the road, and that the chicken that crosseth the road doth so for its own preservation.

Sir Isaac Newton
Chickens at rest tend to stay at rest. Chickens in motion tend to cross the road.

Plato
For the greater good.

Karl Marx
It was a historical inevitability.

Hippocrates
Because of an excess of light pink gooey stuff in its pancreas.

Albert Einstein
Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

Aristotle
To actualize its potential.

Salvador Dali
The Fish.

Darwin
It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees.

Ernest Hemingway
To die. In the rain.

Craig Crossman, host of Computer America
To lay hundreds, even thousands, of eggs.

Saddam Hussein
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

Jack Nicholson
'Cause it (censored) wanted to. That's the (censored) reason.

President Ronald Reagan
Ask Mommy. I forget.

Eminem.
Why the hell madahF$%^r u r bothered?Leave it alone you c#$Z%suc#$%g son of a B$%#h

The Sphinx
You tell me.

Joseph Stalin
I don't care. Catch it. I need its eggs to make my omlette.

Mark Twain
The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated.

Kafka:
Hardly the most urgent enquiry to make of a low-grade insurance clerk who woke up that morning has a hen.

Macbeth:
To have turned back were as tedious as to go o'er.

Hamlet:
That is not the question.

Pope:
It was mimicking my Lord Hervey.

Oscar Wilde:
Why, indeed? One's social engagements whilst in town ought never expose one to such barbarous inconvenience - although, perhaps, if one must cross a road, one may do far worse than to cross it as the chicken in question.

Keats:
Philosophy will clip a chicken's wings.

The Godfather:
I didn't want its mother to see it like that.

Wordsworth:
To wander lonely as a cloud.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Very funny!!

Anonymous said...

Perhaps you should check out our answer too at
http://brotherbother.podomatic.com/entry/2007-06-17T05_27_03-07_00

American Idol 2 hour Finale Live Stream

For your viewing pleasure